Tiwa determines the price of the unwanted. She evaluates the likelihood of future events (no, she is not clairvoyant) and she prices the unexpected; floods, fire, unemployment. She estimates the financial impact of uncertainty. She pretty much has actuarial tables in her mind. She’s incredibly intelligent; much more than she gives herself credit for.
I think the world of her. She is an exotic planet and as far as personality goes, she is quite the charmer. She has this gaze that makes me feel seen. She has the nicest eyes in the world and I am not exaggerating. I determined this after careful study. The smile she pastes on her face needs to be measured in miles instead of inches. When I talk to her, I imagine heart bubbles floating around my room. She was delightful to look at; beautiful face with the symmetry and low-body fat that people who have taste find desirable.
It was great to witness her mind work. Her smiles went right through me. The thing about falling in love is that you do not have any control on your way down.
“Falling in love is something that just happens. You are not sure when it happened or how it happened. All you know is, at this point in time, you are falling hard and all you can do is hope that the feeling is mutual. No matter how much you deny or resist, you just can’t control it. You can pretend to be just friends but no matter how much you try, your eyes will always give you up. You look at that person, trying to steal glimpses, wondering if he/she feels the same. You start to overthink. You start to make assumptions based on their actions. Your whole life starts revolving around them.”
I was addicted to Tiwa and I honestly never thought I had a shot with her. Although, there was always the possibility that poor judgement on her part could lead to a great happily ever after so I played all my cards and devoted most of my time to present my case. She said “yes”. It was short-lived but she said yes so perhaps there’s hope for me after all.
We slipped into a grey pattern. We talked about it and we found the root cause; we were an unlikely pair. I remember playing “The Thrill of It All” that afternoon after the conversation. Sam Smith’s voice rose and I let it carry some of my cares away. It was heart-breaking but I like to think of it in purely logical terms. Like I always say, It is the hope that kills.
There are all sorts of indulgences, delightful at the moment but disastrous in the end.
I often wonder how people are able to trust something that can end as suddenly as it begins.
